i think i’m bad with change / an apology letter to this blog

You smell that? Pine needles? Clove spice? Vanilla cookie candle? Nah, I think that’s a little introspection in the air. It is the end of the year you know.

I have reached a new revelation about myself: I have some serious trouble with change.

Now while someone who knows me well might be chuckling right now, thinking, “Uh yeah, Michelle, duh.” I am quite! surprised. I think I’ve been living with this false narrative that because I am patient and optimistic, naturally I can go with the flow and handle any shift of life.

Wrong. Very wrong.

Exhibit A: Snot-crying into my expensive napkin at my post-graduation dinner with my family upon realizing the perfect little college bubble I had lived in the last 4 years was over (alcohol influenced cry, but still).


Exhibit B: My boyfriend, bless his Libra heart, is quite indecisive when it comes to plans. While this usually isn’t a huge deal, I still have found myself saying, “I don’t care what we do, you just have to choose something and stick to it!!!” Why do I need a set plan?!

So I think it’s safe to say

that change freaks me out… and thus these past 6 months have been WILD. I graduated college, began a new relationship, started a new job, moved two states away into my first adult-I’m-paying-for-this-myself apartment, started living w/ a significant other, started getting back to the gym regularly, decorated and DIY’ed said new apartment… and those were just the big things.


This has been exciting, incredible, and so much fun — but a whole lot of work. A whole lot of C H A N G E. *dun dun dunnnnnnn*.

And even though most of the time I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, other times I am overwhelmed and exhausted with my brain being stretched a million different ways.

Most frustrating?

I haven’t had the brain power to give my favorite past time: pouring through various blogs and websites, and writing on my own. It’s absolutely maddening to have all this great content that I’m so desperate to share… and not having the energy or creative gusto to create it.

I might sound whiney/lazy/unmotivated, and in some ways I definitely have been! I know that, don’t ya worry. But as I was just charged the yearly fee for keeping this domain name alive & mine, I was reminded of my love for my lil blog.


And so, it is here I will apologize to this site (and any of the people who have reached out to me in the past year saying they read this, I love youuuuu xo don’t give up on me) and make a pledge for the new year.

Dear Urban Mermaid 603,

I remember the day you were born, January 6th, 2017… with a loving post about sneakers. You’ll be happy to know I bought a fresh ass pair of Adidas Gazelles last week. They reminded me of you.

Since your conception, you’ve let me share everything from my favorite smoothie to my thoughts on love being bullsh*t (spoiler alert, I was kinda wrong). You’ve let me write, re-write, discard, edit, and finally publish so many wonderful things.

Maybe no one reads you, but I do… oh and my grandma. I know that because she likes to comment on the Facebook. She asked if the products on my natural skincare post will be any help to her now (she’s 89), I said hell yes.

Anyway, I have been a bad blogger, and so you have been neglected. I’ve expanded my podcast listening and I think you will like it. And my Black Friday finds were awesome… I wish I showed you. I also built a TV stand for my new apartment… . Wanna see a photo? My Christmas décor was all found at Walmart, I thought that was cool : /.

Processed with VSCO with a6 preset

So much about my life I’ve kept from you, and I am truly sorry. Now that I’m not in the middle of 47 major life changes, and I have recognized my issues with change and thus will be working on them… Let me make a promise to you.

I promise to give you the love and attention you deserve. To write and share and create the content that will let you be the beautiful blog I know you can be. And maybe, just maybe, you can forgive me.

So on your 1st birthday, January 6th… let’s kick this thing off. Fresh & new!

All my love,

Ah, I feel better. Don’t you? I’m back babyyyyyyy.

Leave in the comments what kind of content you’d like to see in the new year (home DIYs? food? beauty?) and like Urban Mermaid 603 on Facebook to stay up on new stuff 🙂


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